Time-Out

The original idea for using time-out with children was adopted from time-out in sports, and the initial purpose of time-out for children was to temporarily separate a child from the environment where inappropriate behavior was occurring.

Time-out can be an effective strategy when dealing with difficult behaviors if the parent/professional thinks through how to use time-out as a brief time-away from an unpleasant situation rather than punishment.

Time-out can give both adults and children some needed time away from a challenging situation. Some children need only a brief time away in order to make better choices. Proper use of time-out can help a child to learn self-control.

On the other hand, time-out can be used ineffectively and can easily become punishment, or feel like punishment to a child. Below is my personal list of do’s and don’ts, followed by a list of issues to think about before using this strategy.

Do…

• Put thought into the purpose of time-out and how/when you will use this technique
• Use time-out to help a child to regain self-control
• Use time-out for short periods of time
• Tailor your family’s use of time out to your individual child
• Devise a plan for consistency with other family members
• Involve your child in discussions of rules, guidelines along the purpose of time-out
• Use time-out before the situation escalates and child is uncontrollable
• Be sure your child is aware of specific guidelines and clear expectations
• Be sure your child is clear about specific undesirable behaviors that are not appropriate
• Be firm, fair and a positive role model
• Be sure your child feels safe while using this method
• Be available to talk with your child before s/he returns to play/work
• Be aware of the need to give yourself time out

Don’t…

• Think of time-out as punishment or an alternate to spanking
• Expect your child to quietly sit still for a long time with nothing to do
• Try to reason with your child or engage in discussion during time-out
• Misuse or overuse this strategy
• Use time-out as a form of humiliation
• Use time-out as a threat
• Use fear-based strategies with time-out
• Leave your child alone

Issues to think about:

• Will you go with the standard time-out – one minute for each year of age?
• Will you allow your child to engage in a quiet, calming activity or expect him/her to simply sit quietly?
• Will you involve your child in choices in how s/he uses time-out?
• What if your child calms down before the established time is up?
• What if your child refuses to go to time-out or to stay in time-out?
• Where will the time-out area be located?
• Will you keep a written record to see if the targeted behavior is reduced?
• Can you avoid time-out by using redirection strategies?
• Will you give your child a prompt or warning first?
• What if your child engages in unsafe unkind behaviors?
• How will you make sure your child does not think of time-out as punishment?

Children need help with learning about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. They need help with learning self-control. Some children require more patience and perseverance than others. Sometimes they simply need a little time-away from a situation in order to make better choices.

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