Emphasize the Positive for Tutoring Success

The next time you tutor your child — or observe her session with an outside tutor — don't just think about what is being communicated. Rather, think about how that communication is coming across. If your child views tutoring sessions as a negative thing (i.e., "I'm spending an hour practicing spelling as a 'punishment' for the bad grade I made on the last spelling test"), chances are good that the tutoring itself is not being framed in a positive way.

Why is positivity so important? Think about it in terms of your own professional life. Which bosses or managers did you enjoy working with most? Did you benefit more from working experiences that involved positive feedback and constructive criticism — or from work environments rife with condescension and unhelpful, negative comments?

Of course, neither you nor an expert tutor are going to act like a "bad boss" in a tutoring session. But you may be sending negative messages without even knowing it; when your child picks up on these subtle cues, he may doubt his ability to learn and to succeed.

So, how can you make sure that feedback stays positive — and that constructive criticism truly is constructive? Try the following techiniques.

Pay careful attention. Help your student to correct a mistake immediately after she makes it, rather than rehashing a litany of mistakes at the end of the session. For example, if she mispronounces a word, gently correct her by pronouncing it for her (e.g., "We pronounce that word 'reliable'") and allow her to practice saying it ("Would you repeat the word after me?"). Make sure that the correction is a learning opportunity; do not interrupt her with a sharp "No!" (In fact, try to avoid the word "no" altogether.)

Use upbeat words. Just by participating in a tutoring session, your child is showing a commitment to learning. Show your appreciation for this commitment by framing your feedback in a positive way. For example, if he arrives at an incorrect answer when solving a geometry problem, but shows insight and accuracy in the proof, say something like: "Great! I can tell that you really understand the key concepts. Let's go back through the proof together — you've done all the work that will help us find the answer."

Focus on results. You (and your child) may be accustomed to equating "results" with "grades." But in tutoring sessions, it can be far more beneficial to equate "results" with "progress." Consider creating a progress chart (younger students love sticker-charts) that shows the amount of time your child has invested in her tutoring sessions. This visual aid will help her quantify her hard work. If she's showing improvement in school, consider making a line graph that clearly shows her progress over time.

No matter what subject your child is learning, positivity goes a long way and is one of the key ingredients for success. To find a tutor who will create personalized, upbeat sessions for your child, see the many resources here.