Creating the Best Environment for an Emotionally Disabled Child

The way in which you tutor your child should be as unique as your child herself. This is particularly true for children with emotional disabilities, who can become frustrated in the typical educational setting—yet thrive in a modified learning environment. Just as your child's special-education teacher takes steps to differentiate the curriculum for students with emotional disabilities, you should create a tutoring environment that addresses learning challenges while emphasizing learning strengths.

Here are some tips for tutoring your child with minimum frustration and maximum success.

Be absolutely certain that the work is doable. Nothing creates resistance faster—among emotionally disabled kids and kids in general-education classrooms—than an insurmountable assignment. If, for example, your child's teacher has given algebra homework but your child does not grasp the concept of variables, you need to teach you child the basics before expecting her to jump right into the assignment.

Emotionally disabled students become very distressed by what they view as "impossible" assignments. A child with oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) might throw a tantrum about the assignment, while a child with passive-aggressive tendencies might simply refuse to do the work. It's vital to understand that these behaviors stem not from a child's "bad attitude," but rather from their fear of being unsuccessful. No one wants to take on a task at which they're certain to fail, and this is particularly stressful for emotionally disabled students. Take the time to teach your child the skills he needs in order to take on an assignment. Do not ask or expect him to attempt the assignment until these foundational skills have been attained.

Reward your child for making an effort. Too often, well-meaning tutors and teachers only offer rewards or praise once an assignment has been totally completed. A teacher might give an A+ to a student who did very well on a test, or a tutor might take a student out for pizza after the successful completion of a book report. In order to keep an emotionally disabled child engaged and encouraged, her tutor must offer rewards—as simple as spoken praise—throughout the course of an assignment. Praise your child for beginning a task (e.g., "I'm really proud of you for taking this on!") and for continuing to work (e.g., "You're making such a great effort—you're well on your way!"). The most important thing is that these small rewards encourage a child to follow through on an assignment, rather than quit in frustration.

Avoid the temptation to "reward" problem behaviors. When an emotionally disabled student talks back or refuses to cooperate, he is often doing so because he wants attention. For this child, attention is a powerful reward. It is for this reason that tutors should avoid paying too much attention to the problem behavior. If, for example, your child takes a pen and scribbles all over his math homework, resist the urge to get upset and to tell him why his behavior is wrong. Instead, simply stay calm and quiet, and put a fresh sheet of paper in front of him. He will soon realize that his attention-seeking behavior is not garnering the results he'd like. And then, he'll try another way to get your attention: by doing the work assigned to him. Remember that the emotionally disabled child sometimes has a hard time differentiating between positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement, but that he certainly recognizes the difference between receiving attention and not receiving attention.

Tutoring an emotionally disabled child is a challenge, but it can also lead to real success. If you choose to hire a tutor (you'll find a lot of great tutoring resources on our site), take time to tell her about your child's specific disability and learning style. With the right approach, the trials will pale in comparison to the triumphs. TutorsAnywhere can help you find an online tutor that will be the best fit for your individual situation.