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The original idea for using time-out with children was adopted from time-out in sports, and the initial purpose of time-out for children was to temporarily separate a child from the environment where inappropriate behavior was occurring.

Time-out can be an effective strategy when dealing with difficult behaviors if the parent/professional thinks through how to use time-out as a brief time-away from an unpleasant situation rather than punishment.

Time-out can give both adults and children some needed time away from a challenging situation. Some children need only a brief time away in order to make better choices. Proper use of time-out can help a child to learn self-control.

On the other hand, time-out can be used ineffectively and can easily become punishment, or feel like punishment to a child. Below is my personal list of do’s and don’ts, followed by a list of issues to think about before using this strategy.

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The next time you tutor your child — or observe her session with an outside tutor — don't just think about what is being communicated. Rather, think about how that communication is coming across. If your child views tutoring sessions as a negative thing (i.e., "I'm spending an hour practicing spelling as a 'punishment' for the bad grade I made on the last spelling test"), chances are good that the tutoring itself is not being framed in a positive way.

Why is positivity so important? Think about it in terms of your own professional life. Which bosses or managers did you enjoy working with most? Did you benefit more from working experiences that involved positive feedback and constructive criticism — or from work environments rife with condescension and unhelpful, negative comments?

Of course, neither you nor an expert tutor are going to act like a "bad boss" in a tutoring session. But you may be sending negative messages without even knowing it; when your child picks up on these subtle cues, he may doubt his ability to learn and to succeed. Read more on Emphasize the Positive for Tutoring Success…

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